Step Back...Pace Bunny Coming Through...

Enough Said...

I am slowly going crazy ... one ... two ... three ... four ... five ... six ... SWITCH!!! Crazy going slowly am I ... six ... five ... four ... three ... two ... one ... SWITCH!!

It's been almost three years now since I left Parliament Hill and moved here to the Gallery. It's hard to believe how much has happened in that time and all of the directions that us Hill staff have since taken. Political life was hard for me. It can be terribly ruthless at times and I was seldom accustomed to the cut throat environment of people trying to make it to the top.

For the things that I was happy to leave behind, the one thing that I still miss to this day, is many of the people that I came to know. Some of my closest friends were people that I met on the Hill and though we are still friends, I miss seeing them on a day to day basis. Matty, Sarah, Keir, Natalia...all these people made life in the snake pit much more bearable. And I miss them.

One of the greatest blessings from working on the Hill though was another girl I met named Kristy. Looking back, she had such an impact on my life because she came along at time when I needed her most. Kristy was one of the most thoughtful people that I had ever met in my life. She was constantly thinking of others and had such a strong desire to make the world a better place. She came to work in our office for just a couple of days a week and eventually, Kristy and I spent close to five days a week together!! She was such a fun girl and I just adored her spirit.

The morning after I got engaged, I rushed over to Parliament Hill to tell Kristy. We celebrated over Starbucks and I asked her if she would be in my wedding party. She happily agreed and for a number of different reasons, it didn't end up happening. The summer before my wedding was the last time that I saw Kristy. There is a letter that she gave me for my birthday a number of years ago that I still carry around with me to this day, as a reminder of what a blessing she was to my life.

Even though Kristy and I didn't keep in touch, it was fun to hear about her life through other friends. I was thrilled when I heard that she was getting married to her long time boyfriend, Mike. Steve and I had spent quite a bit of time with the two of them and it was always very apparent that their relationship would last a lifetime. For all the goodness that Kristy brought to this world, she deserved nothing more than to live out her fairytale.

On April 23rd, Mike was driving from Ottawa to North Bay when he collided with a moose. He is in critical condition at a Sudbury hopsital with a skull fracture, multiple cuts and bruises, and numerous torn ligaments. He is currently in a medically induced coma and a shunt has been inserted to drain the fluid from his brain.

As a wife, the thought of receiving such a phone call makes me physically sick to my stomach. As someone who knew both Kristy and Mike, the thought of them enduring this makes my heart break.

Please pray for Mike and that the hand of God will heal him and bring him to a quick recovery. Please pray for Kristy and that she will feel the presence of God while she has to endure this. While I know that they are both strong enough to get through this, I wish more than anything that they didn't have to.

Lord, hear our prayers.

And the Winner Is...

MoneySense Magazine just recently released its rankings of the best places in Canada to live. With statistics from weather, to crime rate, economic prosperity and attractions, they roamed communities far and wide for the most ideal city in which to live.

And the trophy goes to.....OTTAWA!!!

Check out the article here, it's very interesting!

And kudos to Leamington for making the top three places with the best weather (who knew?!?!)!!!

Looks like Ottawa rocks for more than just their hockey team!!

Once Upon a Time...

Being an only child, I feel like I have a unique perspective of sibling relationships given that I've only ever seen them from the outside looking in. I can't say that I ever wished I had siblings because life is really about what you know and experience on a day to day basis. Though many people feel that the grass is always greener on the other side, I experienced a wonderful childhood as an only child, filled with beautiful friends and a close knit family. I can't say that the sibling relationships that did exist amongst our family were the healthiest ones I've witnessed and over time, made me very thankful that I wasn't forced to be raised in such a competitive environment. Somehow, it always seemed as though siblings felt this obligation to be best friends and when they discovered fundamental differences between them, it resulted in anger and disconnect. I remember a lot of ugly fights in our family at the hands of siblings.

As I got older and moved away to university, I had the priviledge of living with other students that gave me a glimpse into what it was like to experience siblings. Of course, having roomates for eight months at a time doesn't compare to a lifetime spent with someone that shares your DNA but, for someone that was an only child her whole life...it was a very significant opportunity to experience something beyond of my realm of understanding up until then.

In my second year of university, I lived in a busy house full of guys and another girl. It was a bit chaotic and the drama was often a shock to the system but, nonetheless, I think it's safe to say that we all walked away with some memorable stories to tell. It wasn't until my last year of university that I lived in a home with three other girls. All of us living away from home and all of us new to the situation we currently found ourselves in. The bond was almost immediate. For a week straight, we looked through each other's pictures, told stories about life before "this place" and our desire to be friends was overwhelming at times. I think that we needed each other. We needed to look out for someone and have someone look out for us. We needed understanding and support in the stages of life we were all experiencing. For the eight months that followed, we had some hysterical times, some yelling matches and times with tears so heavy it nearly brought you to your knees. At the end of the day though, I always longed for that connection with them because there was something we could offer each other that couldn't be found in a boyfriend or parent.

When the end of our time rolled around, the departure cut deep. We were all going in very seperate directions and the truth was, that our lives extended far beyond our four bedroom house. It was as though we had been kept in this little bubble that seperated us from everything else and suddenly, it was time to go home...back to high school friends...back to the initial paths that we were taking...back to recovering...back to finding our way...and unfortunately, none of that seemed to include each other.

I remember going to visit my mom in B.C. for a couple of weeks after my final exams. During that time, the girls were all moving back home for the summer and since I was staying in the city, I agreed to stay until the end of our lease to ensure that everything was finalized with our landlord before moving on myself. My flight arrived back in Ottawa very late on a Monday evening and it was a warm, summer night when I walked into our empty home. The girls were gone...the lights were all off...all of their stuff was gone and there was a goodbye note taped to my bedroom door. It was likely the loneliest that I've ever felt. Even though we had said our goodbyes before I left, it wasn't real until that night. Somehow I thought I was going to come home and they would still be there. They would either be cooking dinner together or watching tv while talking about the latest dates they had just been on. I haven't really seen any of them since.

My heart was so broken by that seperation that I spent a great deal of time distancing myself from relationships of that nature again. I had accepted and believed that, as an only child, I would continue to walk through this life as such and that long term connections like that were reserved for those bound together by life.

In 2003, I met my husband. He comes from a large family with three siblings of his own and an extended family that easily makes Thanksgiving a circus!!! A couple of weeks after we started dating, his first niece, Priya, was born. The two of us drove down to Kingston to see her and utilized the opportunity for me to meet some of his family. That's when I met my beautiful sister-in-law, Monica; on a warm June day when the tulips were in full bloom and her world had just changed forever with the birth of her daughter. I bet she didn't know this at the time, but much of my world changed then too.

Monica and I got along from the very beginning but, then again, Monica is magnetic that way. There is nothing that you couldn't adore about her. Given our proximity to each other, we ended up seeing a lot of each other in the months that followed. A little over a year later, when Steve and I got engaged, I knew right away that I wanted Monica to stand with me during our wedding...and she did. More so, she carried me through much of the challenges I struggled with as a bride-to-be. During the first week after being engaged, she called the house only to find me in tears due to all the sudden decisions that needed to be made. Shortly there after, she drove to Ottawa and saved the day...just like she always does. It's as though she protected me from all the rages that threw their daggers at us.


The wedding came and went, and with it, I felt a bit of sadness. While I was relieved that all the planning was complete and that our day was as perfect as we could have hoped for...something seemed to be missing. Monica was missing. For a year, I had this wonderful and brilliant woman all to myself...and in much the same way that our lease had finished...the wedding was done and I now had to give her back. I felt the ache inside of me start all over again. And to be honest, I don't know that that ache has ever really gone away.

Monica is this wonderful human being that means well in everything she does. She is beautiful and brilliant and kind. She has strong relationships with everyone in her life. She has phenomenal children who are a product of her amazing abilities as a mother. She is successful at everything she does and she is loved by everyone she knows. And herein lies the source of my heart ache...with the whole world in front of her and the incredibly inspiring life that she already lives...will she have enough room in it for me??

Have you ever wanted to "belong" so badly that something inside of you physically hurts?? Of course you have...we all have. I think that as humans, we all crave the approval and acceptance of those that we admire...some more than others. Monica is that for me. I know...this all sounds very selfish and childish, and maybe it is but, if you knew her...you would understand!! To be in her presence is to truly want the priviledge of being in her life.

Monica is moving to Australia at the end of this year. She will only be there for a year but, even then, I have very mixed emotions about it. While I'm excited for her and her family as it will be the adventure of a lifetime, I'm afraid that she is going to forget about me and that the ocean between us will fade me out of her life. I was discussing my anxiety with a friend of mine a little while ago and she looked at me sympathetically and said " Gen, don't worry...that's what little sisters do".

Little sisters?? Really?? Is that what I am?? Well, no wonder I'm struggling with my feelings...I've never been a little sister before and it never really occured to me that I was now!!

After having some time to reflect on the concept a little bit, things started to make a bit more sense and the pieces of my confusion started to fall into place; Monica is my "big sister" and with that comes a whole range of emotions that are foreign to me as an only child. As my big sister, I look up to her and I admire her. As my big sister, I want her to be proud of me and to miss me. As my big sister, I want her approval and her advice. As my big sister, I don't want her to leave me in this big, bad world by myself. And because she is my big sister...I want, more than anything, to be a good little sister!!!

It's Monica's birthday tomorrow and I don't think I've ever told her any of this. My big sister is a year older and for her birthday, she deserves nothing less than knowing how wonderful she is and how much I adore her. And while I work through the emotions that come with "idolizing my big sister"...there is no one that I would rather do that for. By the graces of God, I was blessed with an understanding of what it means to have that in ones life. And though I didn't grow up sharing a room with Monica, I am still "growing up" with Monica. And when I do grow up...I hope to be just like her!!

Happy Birthday Monica!!

I love you!

Gen