In the middle of a rainy, gloomy day, twenty people were shot in a Montreal College today. Two people are dead, one of them being the shooter. I was stunned when I first heard the news and even more stunned when I found myself saying "not again". More so because I came to the very abrupt realization that this appears to be happening more and more often. Our younger generations appear to becoming more violent than ever before.I called my aunt this evening, who lives in Montreal, to ensure that her and the family were all fine and hadn't been in harms way. While discussing the incident with her, I asked her "what kind of anger has to exist in someone to make them do that?". Strangely enough though, I think that I already knew the answer; though nothing has been reported regarding the shooter's motives, my initial assumption was retaliation, likely resulting from years of bullying.
When the investigation after the shooting at Columbine High School finally started to come together in 1999, it was made clear that the two shooters had suffered from years of bullying from their peers. You can also read countless stories about teens who have committed suicide from enduring the trauma of bullying and I can't help but wonder...what's really happening here??
Without a shadow of a doubt, what happened today in Montreal, at Columbine High School and in numerous other places...were tragic, heartbreaking and is an example of the ever changing society we are living in. It seems like everywhere we turn, innocent victims are dying for someone else's cause. However, though I know that the coverage of the Montreal shooting will likely last for weeks, I am interested in knowing how much time will be spent on the issue that potentially led this shooter to such extremes measures??
As everyone knows, adolescence is a terribly tumultuous time to begin with. Our self-esteem is fragile, we are still trying to find our way in the world and basically, it's just eight years of trying to avoid embarrassement. For many of us, we look back fondly on our bad taste in clothes and the endless "firsts" that we experienced but, for many others (likely more than we think), those years were wrought with trauma at the hands of their peers. Bullying becomes like a cancer in your body...a poison that encompasses your being, taking over until eventually, it breaks your spirit and all there is left to do is survive.
The shooter was described as a white male, dressed in black with a mohawk. For all intents and purposes, he sounds like someone who might have stood out in a crowd. Someone who might have been a bit different from the norm (whatever that may be...though is usually defined by the likes of the GAP and Levi's in our teen years). The reality is that kids can be cruel, and even more so in groups. Given enough time and persistence, bullying can chip away at someone's self-esteem until there is a mere shell of that person left. I think that it's worth noting that this young man likely didn't just go in there to kill his peers but, whether he was shot by police or not, I don't think that he was expecting to live through the day either. This alone, brings on sadness in and of itself.
It's easy to say that, if bullying is the cause, then he could have just told someone but, realistically, if a ten year old can take a toddler from a mall, then torture and kill him without so much as a note on his record when he turns eighteen, then what kind of protection can a bullied student possibly expect in their school hallways?? And the thing is that psychological and emotional scars don't photograph nearly as well as battle scars do. There isn't any tanglible proof of the damage that has been done.
A woman once asked me shorty after 9/11 if it's really considered terrorism if you have been bullied your whole life and you are merely trying to protect all that you have left?? It's a good and valid question. Whether it's your country or your dignity...people, by nature, will do whatever it takes to protect themselves.
We are living in a time when bombs are always being dropped on other countries, where gangs are having shootouts in the street on Boxing Day and we are suing fast food companies for making us fat. It's the age of retaliation. So should we really be surprised when bullied and tortured teens are finding their own way to strike back?? And in turn, was the terrorism in shooting people randomly at school or was it in torturing and instilling fear in someone in the first place just because they were different??
I don't know.
All I know is that the problem is more than the violence and more than gun control. The problem is that we are forgetting what it's like to love and respect one another as we are. We are forgetting to live and let live. We are forgetting that peace is not only an end but, also a means to achieving that end. We are forgetting to teach our children this and in doing so, they will never teach their children this.
In the end, all that I am left with is a broken heart, more questions and something that St. Augustine once said:
"Hope has two beautiful daughters; Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are and Courage to change them."
God Bless those who are suffering tonight and those that can make a difference tomorrow.
2 comments:
The positve imperative is a supposition where we all understand the we are as you suggest the solution but only when we participate. The cancer in today's society is not just the negativity, that is easy enough to handle, but moreover the vast wasteland of apathy and indifferance. So the saying goes, "If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem". Well Gen you have responded twice, once by participating in the Boys and Girls Clubs of Canada, to make them stronger and more viable you are part of the solution which impacts thousands of youth across Canada and secondly by addressing the issue in this blog. That's all one person can do, participate and sometimes more importantly to educate people to understand the onus of responsibility is for them to participate in the positive solutions.
The paracox is that the solution is so simple. If you just took the concept put forth in the movie "Pay It Forward", and added a little Patch Adams for good measure then the world would turn around in no time, simply because of the math and the law of displacement. George Bernard Shaw wrote, Some Men See Things as They Are and Say Why, I Dreamed of things that never were and say, why not!
I was so proud of my dauther Dawn and son-in-law to be last week and niece Heather. Dawn and Josh signed up to participate in the Big Brother /Sister Mentor program and Heather sponsored a child through World Vision.
Both are great examples of living the positive imperative and to Pay It Forward, and until we have enough participants to partake to cover all the bullied, brused and abused kids, senceless acts of violence, domestic and other wise will continue. So the next time you are face to face with someone living in the land of apathy and indifference CHALLENGE THEM!
Luv always Uncle Victor,
Gen, we are all saddened by the news that indeed people were killed and hurt by yet another young person who, on his blog, called himself, "Angel of Death".
There are so many troubled children in this world today. And the reason is, as I see it, parents are so focused on their own needs and satisfying those needs that they don't look after their own children. People are forgetting that having a child means giving up part of their life for that child. And when parents actually know this is what is expected of them, a child feels wanted and loved. Too many children are out there just asking to be loved and feel wanted. Too many are being handed money, cars and told to go have a good time or their parents are drunk or drugged up and they don't care what happens to their children. Where can they feel important and needed? At school? With friends? And if they don't get it,where do they go to get that connection. Some off the deep end as the young man in Montreal, some to drugs,some to prostitution, some to wandering the streets of the big cities.
If only, as our pastor stated in church about a month ago, we all would follow the ten commandments, then we would live in such a different world.
My heart goes out to those who are suffering in Montreal, not only those injured and their families but also those who knew this troubled young man.
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