Have you ever seen the movie “High Fidelity” with John Cusack?? It’s one my favourite movies about a guy who’s the in progress of enduring a phase in his life that seems to be falling apart. He decides to recount his top five breakups in an attempt to see how his relationships have evolved over time.

I watched this movie again recently and the very thought of performing this sort of experiment myself leaves me feeling somewhat cynical! Mostly because I know exactly what I would find…a string of dramatic, unattainable men (likely all Scorpios!) with sunken in cheeks and a dark, mysterious past. Believe me, I’ve got the emotional battle scars to prove it! Don’t get me wrong, they were all terrific guys, but there’s something about being young and in love that is so “forbidden”. The drama and intensity of it all almost guarantees that you will get your heart broken in all the wrong places!

Dare I say that with my ten years worth of dating experience, high school crushes and summer romances, I could easily play the lead role in any Nicholas Sparks movie! The truth is though, that like many dreamy-eyed girls my age (at the time), “forbidden” is exactly what we wanted; the fairytale story that movies are made of. The problem is, that while two hours spent laughing, drooling and longing after Jude Law seems romantic at the time…a lifetime of that kind of emotion is simply too much work! And let’s be honest…we’re busy girls!!

I can smile at this history that I laughingly call my dating past because this past Monday was my anniversary! With two years of marriage under my belt, I can look back with the wisdom of a married woman and know that to have gone on too many bad dates does teach you something; you filter, you cringe, you develop a fairly refined list of “non-negotiables” and you decide that if a guy shows up for your date with another girl…you might want to call in for some backup!!

Though I haven’t officially said good luck and goodbye to my Top Five list yet, I don’t think that I need to. Time has done that for me. Time is funny that way…while it always remains constant, everything else changes with its passing. It’s as though I woke up one morning and realized that the man lying next to me was nothing like the all the train wrecks before him! Did I change?? Did he?? Who knows?!?! That’s the beauty of time…only it can really tell. One thing is for sure though; as I sat across from Steve, drinking wine over dinner, I realized that as much fun as first dates and first kisses really are, nothing compares to the first time you get flowers from the same man who just brushed his teeth in front of you!

Any girl who’s endured a landmine or two of a relationship knows that it’s not easy to walk through the land of lost boyfriends without getting blown to pieces. Chances are though, that you’ve also likely watched enough chick flicks (or High Fidelity!) to know that there’s always a happy ending…a safe haven, danger-free zone at the other end of the battlefield. Though you may both be battered and bruised, you may also be surprised to learn the one thing that dating never teaches you; the very fact that you’re not perfect and that he’s not perfect is exactly what makes you perfect for each other!