I came face to face last week with a very intriguing question and it's been plaguing me ever since!! It's from the book The Not So Big Life, by Sarah Susanka, a hard cover that I've been reading bit by bit as I pass through Chapters on a daily basis. Susanka is an architect who tried to apply the basics of designing a home to the concept of designing a life. So far, it's an interesting read and given that I've been chipping away it very slowly, it's given me a lot of time to ponder some of the questions that come up in each chapter.
The question was "Does your current life reflect the aspirations that you had for yourself as a child"?
To be fair, I don't think it's one of those questions that requires a concrete answer, and certainly not a right or wrong answer. Knowing that makes me feel better about the fact that I've been struggling with it for days now!! Not only have I been trying to figure out how I would measure my life now but, even more so, I'm trying to remember what I aspired to be then. Have you ever really stopped to try and remember this?? It's not as easy as it sounds!!
I'm very much at a time in my life where I'm teetering on a tipping point; there is a lot that is about to happen but, at the same time, I still don't have to be fully ready to throw myself over the falls in a barrel just yet!! Given this unique time of opportunity, I am more aware than ever that my life can really be whatever I want it to be...childhood aspirations or not! Truth be told, I really don't remember what or where I wanted to go when I looked at life beyond being a child. I had my interests and I pursued them diligently but, it never occured to me that constantly rearranging Barbie's furniture as a child could have meant an interest in interior design later in life (which, might I add, I have come to discover via the process of designing our house...I LOVE!). As youngsters, we seldom ever put the pieces together that might lead to a very passionate life of doing what we love most.
I can remember being a little girl and reading until my eyes could barely stay open! And when I ran out of books to read, I would start writing my own. I was the only girl on the block who never had to be asked to clean her room because it was always impeccable. I remember being sent to camp in all white and never getting dirty!! I remember loving activity...I loved the feeling that a lot was happening around me. I would always get in trouble for doing my homework in front of the television but, my Mom never realized that it was the best way for me to concentrate. I remember always needing to move my body. Whether it be dancing, sports or just relentlessly twitching...my body always craved being in motion. I loved movies and would watch my favourites over and over and over again!! I remember writing a lot! Even though my friends and I saw each other every day at school...we still mailed letters back and forth to each other all week long. I also remember being a very worried little girl....worried about myself...worried about other people...worried about the road ahead. Oddly enough though, I don't ever remember what my aspirations for the future were. It just never occured to me that one day my life would be my own to live. Kids always have very big dreams but, they have very little foresight.
I suppose by this measure, my life has far surpassed my aspirations and expectations in many ways. Like my old friend Danelia used to always remind me, at the risk of sounding too cliché...we really are living the dream (assuming that you didn't want to be an astronaut!!). I have to say though, the question has got me thinking...!!! It makes me wonder whether or not an archeological dig of sorts might be in order...!?!?! If Indiana Jones could discover the hidden mystery behind the Holy Grail why can’t I find out what it means to love peanut M&Ms so much?!?!
With this in mind, I’ve decided to do a little bit of research into the hidden layers that make up who I am as a person. While I certainly consider myself to be a fairly “self-aware” person, I’m also always up for a good challenge!
The question was "Does your current life reflect the aspirations that you had for yourself as a child"?
To be fair, I don't think it's one of those questions that requires a concrete answer, and certainly not a right or wrong answer. Knowing that makes me feel better about the fact that I've been struggling with it for days now!! Not only have I been trying to figure out how I would measure my life now but, even more so, I'm trying to remember what I aspired to be then. Have you ever really stopped to try and remember this?? It's not as easy as it sounds!!
I'm very much at a time in my life where I'm teetering on a tipping point; there is a lot that is about to happen but, at the same time, I still don't have to be fully ready to throw myself over the falls in a barrel just yet!! Given this unique time of opportunity, I am more aware than ever that my life can really be whatever I want it to be...childhood aspirations or not! Truth be told, I really don't remember what or where I wanted to go when I looked at life beyond being a child. I had my interests and I pursued them diligently but, it never occured to me that constantly rearranging Barbie's furniture as a child could have meant an interest in interior design later in life (which, might I add, I have come to discover via the process of designing our house...I LOVE!). As youngsters, we seldom ever put the pieces together that might lead to a very passionate life of doing what we love most.
I can remember being a little girl and reading until my eyes could barely stay open! And when I ran out of books to read, I would start writing my own. I was the only girl on the block who never had to be asked to clean her room because it was always impeccable. I remember being sent to camp in all white and never getting dirty!! I remember loving activity...I loved the feeling that a lot was happening around me. I would always get in trouble for doing my homework in front of the television but, my Mom never realized that it was the best way for me to concentrate. I remember always needing to move my body. Whether it be dancing, sports or just relentlessly twitching...my body always craved being in motion. I loved movies and would watch my favourites over and over and over again!! I remember writing a lot! Even though my friends and I saw each other every day at school...we still mailed letters back and forth to each other all week long. I also remember being a very worried little girl....worried about myself...worried about other people...worried about the road ahead. Oddly enough though, I don't ever remember what my aspirations for the future were. It just never occured to me that one day my life would be my own to live. Kids always have very big dreams but, they have very little foresight.
I suppose by this measure, my life has far surpassed my aspirations and expectations in many ways. Like my old friend Danelia used to always remind me, at the risk of sounding too cliché...we really are living the dream (assuming that you didn't want to be an astronaut!!). I have to say though, the question has got me thinking...!!! It makes me wonder whether or not an archeological dig of sorts might be in order...!?!?! If Indiana Jones could discover the hidden mystery behind the Holy Grail why can’t I find out what it means to love peanut M&Ms so much?!?!
With this in mind, I’ve decided to do a little bit of research into the hidden layers that make up who I am as a person. While I certainly consider myself to be a fairly “self-aware” person, I’m also always up for a good challenge!
Besides…I simply love a good mystery!!
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