Most of you may not know this about me, but one of my biggest fears is cancer. It is everywhere and it holds no prejudices. The very thought of the people that I love having to watch me be ill and having to endure the betrayal of my body terrifies me. Even my husband would agree that I have an abnormal fear of this disease. I fear that I would never have the strength to overcome and I fear that it would break my faith. I have no rationale for this fear. I have never experienced its angel of death first hand and if anything, I have all evidence to the contrary that it’s possible to conquer its odds. I only have its stories…and that it’s enough to make me pray every day for protection against its wrath.
About eight months ago, Marie and I stumbled onto the blog site for Marisa Vanderveen. Marisa is a 33 year-old, very devout Christian wife and Mother of three young children. In December of 2006, she was diagnosed with cancer and for the past year, this blog has become a sanctuary of sorts for those wanting to help carry the weight of her family’s pain. Most of the entries are posted by her husband, Mendelt, whose eloquence truly takes your breath away.
Marisa died this past December and not only left behind a beautiful family of her own, but she also left behind a family of readers desperately trying to make sense of it all. Mendelt continues to write about the struggle of life without his “rockstar” and the challenges that lie ahead.
This is my worst nightmare. And it’s not a Hollywood version of it either. It’s real.
Believe me when I say that it’s not easy to read this. However, it’s not easy not to read it either. Their strength and conviction is overwhelming. Their belief in the purity of God’s intention leaves you speechless. I’ve often heard it been said that when you marry someone, you are not only committing to them for life, but more importantly, you are committing to witness their lives. I’ve never seen a more beautiful display of a witness. Every week, every day, every minute, and every heartbeat of this cross they have had to bear.
Marie and I don’t know Marisa or her family, but we wept with them. I weep now as I write this for I can hardly imagine anything more unfair that what this husband now has to live through.
Lord, tonight I not only ask you, but I beg…I beg of you to give Marisa’s family the strength and peace to get through each day. I beg of you to wrap them up in your arms and remind them of your undying love during the dark days to come.
And to Marisa…who’s life and legacy, though I never knew personally, has touched my life immensely. Your faith has helped turn my fear of death into an insatiable desire to live. As your husband so wonderfully said…Shine on.
About eight months ago, Marie and I stumbled onto the blog site for Marisa Vanderveen. Marisa is a 33 year-old, very devout Christian wife and Mother of three young children. In December of 2006, she was diagnosed with cancer and for the past year, this blog has become a sanctuary of sorts for those wanting to help carry the weight of her family’s pain. Most of the entries are posted by her husband, Mendelt, whose eloquence truly takes your breath away.
Marisa died this past December and not only left behind a beautiful family of her own, but she also left behind a family of readers desperately trying to make sense of it all. Mendelt continues to write about the struggle of life without his “rockstar” and the challenges that lie ahead.
This is my worst nightmare. And it’s not a Hollywood version of it either. It’s real.
Believe me when I say that it’s not easy to read this. However, it’s not easy not to read it either. Their strength and conviction is overwhelming. Their belief in the purity of God’s intention leaves you speechless. I’ve often heard it been said that when you marry someone, you are not only committing to them for life, but more importantly, you are committing to witness their lives. I’ve never seen a more beautiful display of a witness. Every week, every day, every minute, and every heartbeat of this cross they have had to bear.
Marie and I don’t know Marisa or her family, but we wept with them. I weep now as I write this for I can hardly imagine anything more unfair that what this husband now has to live through.
Lord, tonight I not only ask you, but I beg…I beg of you to give Marisa’s family the strength and peace to get through each day. I beg of you to wrap them up in your arms and remind them of your undying love during the dark days to come.
And to Marisa…who’s life and legacy, though I never knew personally, has touched my life immensely. Your faith has helped turn my fear of death into an insatiable desire to live. As your husband so wonderfully said…Shine on.
2 comments:
I pray with you... pray for Mendelt and his three little stars.
You wrote my heart.
And God hears.
Thank you, Gen.
Gen,
I just read through the last few entries that Mendelt wrote since Marisa went "home". I haven't been able to read their blog since her death, mostly because, like you, losing the love of my life is one of my biggest fears. Thank you for articulating so well the pain of death and the hope of Christ. I hope that you are doing well in Ottawa. Daniel and I still have to make it up there for a visit. Hopefully this summer we will have some time for road trips!
Lots of love, heidi
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