ash wednesday...

I was very surprised last week when I got an invitation to attend an Ash Wednesday service at our church. Could it be that Lent was here already? Sure enough, a quick glance at my calendar reminded me that it was indeed that time of year!

I always love Lent. I consider it a bit of a “second chance” for all of the resolutions that fail to last much beyond February! It was six years ago that I did my first communion in the Catholic Church and Lent was the last stretch of a year spent contemplating and questioning.

I get asked a lot why I chose to do such a thing as an adult. So many people are turned off by the church and for those that weren’t raised in religious families; it seems even harder for them to comprehend why I would make the conscious decision to pursue religion at all.

The only answer that I can provide is that I didn’t choose the Catholic Church…it chose me.

As “vague” as that may sound…it’s true! I used to go into churches all the time when I was young. I would sneak in when no one else was there and just sit in the pews for as long as I could. I was captivated by the silence and the peacefulness. I felt as though it literally radiated grace.

It didn’t go to my first Mass until the year prior to my communion and after that, there was no turning back. I proceeded to spend the next year preparing myself to join the church. It wasn’t always an easy road; some days I left in tears and other times I left in doubt but at the end of the day, the month, the year…I left a better person. I wasn’t just a better person for having followed through but more so for having challenged myself along the way.

I find that a lot of people bail on things at the first sight of imperfection; the first tinge of uncertainty or conflict, whether it be internally or not. I think that we tend to surround ourselves with things that support our beliefs and not often enough, allow someone or something to question the very things that hold us together. The more challenged I was…the stronger my conviction became, though certainly not without plenty of consideration. Some issues were harder (and still are) to grapple with than others but ultimately…it is an imperfect institution made of imperfect people that has made me, a better person.

But alas, I digress…

Lent is here and it’s time to pull out the more disciplined side of our selves, which for me, isn’t always easy! I’m a girl who really responds well to structure and limits but deprivation…not so much! Even though it’s only forty days, the very thought of what I’m not allowed to have tends to leave me craving it even more. Though I suppose that is indeed the entire point! I’ve decided to give up coffee this year for Lent. Believe me, I’m not thrilled about this but I feel the need to make up for our lack of participation during last year’s Lenten season! It was almost shameful how indulgent we were last year! Between our house, our trip and all the wonderful food in between...it may have actually become the first official "anti-Lent"! Truth be told, while I certainly love my morning mocha on the way to work, I’m also eager to give my body a break from the artificial vitality that comes with coffee. I figured that with all of the other changes I’m making in my life right now, letting my body go back to it’s natural rhythm for a while seems appropriate.

Now, I say this having been only two days into Lent…but we’ll see how delightful an idea it really is in another two weeks!!! We’ll also see how delighted my co-workers are with the idea in two weeks!!!

I think that there was a reason why Jesus spent forty days in the desert alone…