go...

I read the most fantastic book while we were in Italy! A friend had given me the book The Elegance of the Hedgehog by French novelist Muriel Barbery for my birthday and being poolside in Rome seemed like the perfect place to crack it open. Simply put; I was hooked from page one! It’s unlike most novels that I’ve read but I absolutely loved it. The characters are wonderful and endearing, and the language is nothing short of intoxicating. Read it!

But on separate note, this book also introduced me to a game called Go, a strategic game that originated in ancient China but is most commonly known for its popularity in Japan. Being a bit foggy on the actual rules of the game, my knowledge of it is a bit limited however, I have come to learn that the basic idea of the game is that using something much like a chess board, two players (with either black or white pieces) occupy the game board while they try to move their pieces across to the opposing side of the board. However, each player can only continue to play as long as their opponent also has a certain number of pieces on the board as well. Ultimately, one player wins, but only with the help of the other. I found the concept of this game striking because much of life is about winning…about power; people constantly trying to be the best or be right or be in control and in turn, you must eliminate the opponent. However, that being said, you can’t completely eliminate your opponent because without them, there is no one around to acknowledge your power in the first place…in which case, you essentially don’t have any. But here is a game that’s built entirely around the premise that in order to win…you must also help build up your opponent as opposed to annihilate them. In order for anyone to move ahead, both players must work together. Astounding!

The idea of anything occurring strategically in which greed actually causes you to lose seems like a somewhat foreign concept in our current society. We live in a day and age that tends to be consumed with greed, both monetarily and emotionally. History is always written by the winners…those still left standing to actually tell the story! The more I consider it, the more I realize just how conflicting this must be to human nature to try to balance one’s pursuit of betterment and success without remaining entirely focused on your self.

I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately as Steve and I begin to move forward with a lot of major decisions in our life. Mostly, the main objective of our current game is the best interest of our future family. As we prepare for the arrival of our son or daughter, we realize more and more that the decisions we make will no longer be just about us and in turn, they need to be made with a sense of responsibility and protectiveness that only comes with making choices on behalf of another being.

We most certainly want to proceed with our life and our choices in a way that builds instead of depletes. Of course, that is easier said than done when those around you aren’t always playing the same game but our part, at the very least, is to play by the rules of our game. We’ve been noticing that even a game built around such strategic diplomacy doesn’t always leave both players walking away with all of the pieces they may have started with but that being said, we have found ourselves getting shuffled around the board a fair bit as well.

But at the end of the day, I’m left feeling hopeful that a game of such kind even exists at all. That somewhere…twenty-five hundred years ago…someone else also desired a world in which we could all move forward; a world in which we could each move across the board – and through life – without the concern of a being wiped out in the meantime. Life changes, people grow, mistakes are made and lessons are learned…but those are all the moves that we make to get us from one side to the other. More importantly though, I want our child to not only be a player that builds but one that is also surrounded with other players all following the same set of idealistic rules; to build and not destroy. To not destroy ones self-esteem or sense of worth; to not destroy one’s right to having feelings or speaking up about them; to not destroy the very essence of growth and learning; to not receive harsh words as retaliation for hurt feelings. It's a destruction that I see a lot as an adult.

I acknowledge that perhaps my view of the world that I hope for our child is a world that may not exist yet…that the world and many of the people in it will still prefer to be right instead of being happy. There are still places though, whether they are the ends of the earth, corners of cyberspace or small circles of friends and family where you know you can just go; go about your life; go through life and go be a player in the very greatest game of your life.

And everyone has to go somewhere...