Like most couples, when Steve and I got engaged, we had to participate in pre-marital classes leading up to our wedding. These classes tend to come in a variety of formats ranging from one-on-one classes with a priest or pastor, to large group settings in a church basement. For us, we experienced a little bit of both…a large group weekend retreat at the church followed by a meeting with Father Joe closer to the wedding.

We were extremely fortunate to have the entire process of our wedding guided by Father Joe from Blessed Sacrament Church. Not only is Father Joe an amazing priest and leader but, he’s personally guided me a great deal along my spiritual path. Blessed Sacrament Church is where I was baptized as a baby and confirmed twenty-five years later so the experience of also being married there was quite overwhelming.

Though Father Joe has most certainly followed a calling to the priesthood, he is also educated in the field of psychology and marital councelling. Thanks to this background, the intensity of the pre-marital courses for those that he personally marries is a bit different than those being married in other churches. Father Joe strongly believes that every person possesses the alter ego of an animal who, in times of stress, show instinctive features and, if we learn to understand these characteristics, can better enable us to support each other through marriage. He believes that when our human abilities to cope are depleted, we fall back on our instinctive animal behaviour as a means of getting by.

This alter ego, along with a psychological profile of nearly three hundred questions, can help Father Joe determine a specific degree of compatibility for each couple as well as determine potential problems such as alcoholism or abuse. With the strong consideration of these two factors, Father Joe is entitled to refuse marrying a couple that he fears may not be suitable for one another due to a variety of reasons. While I imagine that these situations are relatively rare, it’s refreshing to see someone take the vows of marriage so seriously.

I have to honestly say that I certainly wasn’t nervous going into this process at all, but found myself completely fascinated by the many components taken into consideration when rating two individual’s compatibility. When Steve and I finally met personally with Father Joe, he spoke to us very candidly about our results and determined that we had a compatibility of 96%, which in his eyes, was more than enough reason to go ahead with our wedding!! Obviously, we were thrilled to hear such great feedback (though we certainly had no doubt) but, I’ll admit that I was a bit surprised by my animal alter ego!!

Going into it, I figured that most certainly, I would possess the alter ego of some feline. Throughout my life, other people have consistently compared my personality to the characteristics of a cat. Back in university, one of my roommates once told me that he thought watching me go about my day was like watching a jungle cat in the wild!! I have no idea what he meant by this, but it still cracks me up when I think about it!! I suppose, over time, I just became accustomed to such comparison and frankly, it could be worse!! Imagine being compared to a naked mole rat…

Anyways, as it turns out, my animal alter ego is that of a white wolf. The more Father Joe proceeded to describe my “instinctive characteristics”, the more surprised I was to hear someone describe me in such a way. Apparently, the significance of being a white wolf is to be a pack animal that is extremely loyal to family. I would spend my entire life with my family and never leave their side. I tend to be a very docile animal however I am still wild by nature and when provoked, will readily defend my family and safety. Though wolves are rather peaceful, they also have very few predators (in their natural habitat) which enable them to roam with a certain degree of confidence. Father Joe also mentioned the significance of my alter ego having specific physical features. He said that while all wolves are very beautiful creatures, white wolves are especially distinctive and very captivating to the eye (remember, Father Joe said this…I would NEVER describe myself this way!!!!). In recognition of this alter ego, it is suppose to enable me (and Steve) to better understand my actions when my human spirit is depleted. As a wolf, I will almost always back away when I feel threatened and in times of need, affection and physical contact is the most reliable way to calm the beast in me.

Some cultures even believe wolves to be the highest animal in the spiritual plane as they tend to represent balance in nature. White wolves especially, are believed to live in the spiritual and physical dimensions at the same time, which enables them to act as a bridge between the two worlds. They are believed to teach the necessary lessons that enable to bring both of these lives into balance and help to understand the underlying purpose of events and issues in our lives.

If only that understanding would come now…right when I need it most!!!!

While I may not have all the answers, at least now, when things seem daunting in the woods, I try hard to remember what the likes of my alter ego craves in her time of need. More times than not, closing my tired eyes and getting a good scratch behind the ear does make the journey in the forest a little less wild.

Now Steve on the other hand…I’m not allowed to say what animal he is (he wasn’t pleased!!) but, let’s just say that I could eat him alive if he doesn't behave himself!!!!! Grrrr….